No Distance Left to Run
by blacksekhmet
Summary: Kate's terrifying recurring nightmare is taking its toll, but she refuses to talk about it. What happens when she finds out she's not the only one having it? What can it mean and is there anything that will stop it? Slowburn JATE, now COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_While this isn't my first attempt at writing, it is my first attempt at getting something out to a wider audience, and it's technically my first fanfic. I used to RP Resident Evil-style a lot, but that doesn't really count. XD_

_This has sort of evolved from seperate ideas and random thoughts that I found meshed together really well. It has elements of all 3 seasons, but is standalone in its own way too. I'm not entirely sure it's in the right category, it covers so many. Oh well, this will do for now._

_Anyway, don't be too hard on me! There's nothing like the threat of death to keep things interesting. I hope at least a couple of people will get a kick out of it.  
_

* * *

_Run, Kate. RUN!_

That's all she could think of right now, those three words. The last words she'd heard him say before they'd all bolted through the trees in different directions. Her aching legs carrying her through the thick, twisting jungle, unable to stop even though the rest of her body was screaming at her to. The rifle she had slung over her shoulder thudded painfully into her back with every step. Her lungs were literally going to burst at any moment, but she knew if she stopped now, she wouldn't make it. None of them would.

The rain tore through the canopy in ribbons, so heavy it threatened to sweep her away, but she still kept on, rainwater mingling with the blood on her face where branches had caught her; reached out to grab and scratch at her like unseen clawed hands. The dark sky above split with lightning, followed almost immediately by a heavy crackling rumble that shook the ground under her feet.

_It's only thunder, it's only thunder, it's only thunder._

She repeated it over and over in her clouded mind, squeezing her eyes shut momentarily and trying to reassure herself that it wasn't _that_; it wasn't _that thing_. She let out a pained sob as the realisation of how tired she really was hit her with full force. Her head thumped and every single muscle in her body was burning and raw. She couldn't run forever, but she was damn well going to try.

Kate could suddenly hear them calling for her now, faintly, as the rain finally began to ease off. She listened hard, getting a bearing on the sounds, and altered course to follow them. A sudden wave of fear hit her. Had she travelled in a big circle? She was sure she'd been running straight…

Ahead in the distance was a small clearing, and she could see three of them standing there on the edge of a wide, sunken crater in the ground. They weren't calling anymore; they were just staring downwards, unmoving. Kate slowed now, trying to catch what breath she could, and approached almost cautiously; becoming more and more unnerved by the way they were acting.

"Hey!!"

Her voice laboured and cracked over her heavy breath, her heart leaping up into her throat now. Something was terribly wrong. Locke, Sayid and Charlie continued to stare downward as she moved toward the lip of the crater, their faces unreadable. She moved up the bank as the last drops of rain ceased falling from the broken sky.

"Hey! Can you hear me?" she shouted at them, panic quickly crawling under her skin. "Where's Sawyer? Where's Ja-"

She peered over the edge as she spoke and grew very still. In the dim light, she saw that a bundle of something lay crumpled at the bottom in a puddle of muddy, iron-tinted water. No, wait. Not some_thing_; some_one_. Kate swallowed hard, not wanting to believe what she was seeing, hoping she was mistaken; that it would go away if she just closed her eyes right now, quickly, and opened them again, that it was just her frazzled mind playing tricks on her, that all of this, _all of this_, would turn out to be some sort of horribly unfunny joke…

_No…_

She started forward, eyes wild with fear, but was caught and held back by a sweeping arm and strong grip on her wrist.

"Freckles, don't-"

Sawyer drawled and looked at her as she turned around, his face falling. He lowered his eyes to the ground when she glared back angrily, burning holes into him.

"Let go of me." Kate hissed, struggling out of his grasp as soon as he reluctantly began to loosen it.

Immediately, and without second thought, she was running down the steep slope, the pain from the flight through the jungle minutes before nothing compared to what she was feeling now. She didn't understand, why were they all just standing there, why weren't they _doing_ anything?

Kate skidded and slumped down into the mud next to the broken figure that lay there awkwardly, lit up momentarily by a flash of lightning somewhere off to the right. His eyes were half closed, fingers dug into the watery mud beneath him for want of something to hold on to. His breath came in short, rasping gasps, too fast and too shallow, and it made Kate cringe. The now more distant thunder rumbled overhead.

"Jack," she whispered, her voice trembling. She fought to hold back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "Can you hear me, Jack?"

She reached for his right hand, pulling it out of the water and mud with her left, lacing her fingers with his. So cold, so lifeless. She squeezed gently, watching his pained face, hoping for some sort of reaction.

"What… What happened to him?!" She almost shrieked at the four men standing above, but they couldn't hear her. Nobody could hear her. "Why didn't you _do something_?!"

Jack drew in a deep, agonised breath suddenly, coughing violently, blood flecking his pale lips. She moved in closer, crouching over him now, her free hand clutching at his shoulder in an attempt to stop him shaking, watching helplessly and his eyes flickered open to look at her; to look at her with such a terrible gaze that it nearly killed her. She'd never seen him look so scared, so _terrified_; so completely and utterly vulnerable. He opened his mouth again as if to speak, but no words came; only more coughs. Kate felt him start to squeeze on her hand, tighter and tighter until it became almost crushing, his eyes still searching hers unblinkingly; pleading for something from her that she didn't understand.

"Jack, it's… it's OK, we'll get you out of here," She looked up briefly at the blank faces above her. "_I'll_ get you out of here!"

Tears now, running fast and hot down her cheeks, stinging the cuts on her face. She couldn't stop them anymore. Jack shook his head almost imperceptibly, squeezing her hand harder still with everything he had. Everything he had left...

He coughed again, too hard; blood bubbling up from his chest and into his mouth, trickling out from the corners, spilling over his lips, looking at her again with wide eyes when she realised the grip on her hand was growing ever weaker.

"NO! Don't you dare, Jack, don't you _dare_ let go!"

Kate shook her head vehemently, reaching out with the hand that had been clinging to his shoulder. She leaned into him, cupping his face gently, smearing blood across his cheek and her palm, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Jack, please, stay with me. Please!" She begged him.

Jack blinked at her, his chest gurgling with every desperate attempt at breath. She couldn't stand that noise. It was tearing through her very soul. She stroked his cheek with her thumb, trying to soothe him somehow, trying to let him know it would all be OK, but she could only look on in horror as his eyes started to glaze over, rolling back slowly, and the grip on her hand weakened and became no more, and the wheezing, rasping, frothing sounds in his chest abruptly stopped. And then there was nothing, nothing aside from patter of sudden renewed rain on his lifeless body.

Kate screamed.

* * *

The quiet but fairly contented hum of the camp stretched on after the sun went down. People gathered to talk around their fires, food was passed round. Occasionally someone even laughed out loud. The sky was clear and calm, and the air was pleasantly warm too. It was going to be a beautiful evening. 

"So then, tell me," Charlie looked up from the makeshift coconut bowl of fruit that he was currently stuffing down like a madman. Claire giggled slightly as he continued to talk with his mouth full. "What exactly made you want to be a spinal surgeon, of all things?"

Jack tilted his head, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

"I don't really know, Charlie, I guess it was just the path I ended up on. Turns out I have a knack for that kinda thing, so..."

"Bet the pay's good though, right?"

"Yeah, but the hours are long. Too long, maybe…" He trailed off, looking into the distance for a few moments.

"OK then," Charlie continued, seemingly oblivious to Jack's slight pause. "So, how _exactly_ does a top-flight spinal surgeon such as yourself end up with so many tattoos?"

"Charlie!" Claire exclaimed, smacking him lightly on the shoulder with her hand. "I'm sure that's none of your business."

"What, I'm only asking! Not a crime is it? Did I miss a memo about the new 'don't ask Jack about his tattoos' law on the island or something?" He grinned at Claire and then at Jack, who chuckled genuinely in return, rubbing his jaw.

"I'd listen to Claire if I were you, Charlie. Kate didn't get it out of me, and you're not going to either." He smirked.

"Worth a try." Charlie bemoaned. "Not even a hint?"

Jack shook his head and smiled.

Just then, bloodcurdling screams ripped their way through the camp, shattering the pleasant tranquillity into shards. Jack was on his feet in seconds.

"What the bloody hell was that?!" Charlie cried, dropping the bowl in shock.

Claire turned her worried eyes across the camp. "That sounded like…"

"Kate."

Jack was gone before they even realised it.


	2. Chapter 2

Kate sat bolt upright, shaking and only vaguely aware of the screams that were now fading on her lips. Her throat was raw, her eyes puffy from the uncontrollable torrent of tears that streamed down her freckled face. She didn't know where she was as she peered into the darkness beyond her. Voices; she could faintly here voices calling for her again.

_Not again. Not again, please, _please_ not again._

She clawed at the sand beneath her fingers in a panic, panting heavily as a figure suddenly settled down in the sand beside her, talking to her with words she couldn't quite make out yet.

"Kate! Kate, are you alright? Look at me, Kate, look at me."

Her eyes darted around in the darkness, full of fear. She backed up when she felt the brush of a hand on her wrist, scrambling against the sand, the memory of what just transpired still crystallising in her mind.

"Hey, hey. It's alright. Kate, can you hear me?"

A small crowd had now gathered around her in a crescent, murmuring collective concern. Jack tore his gaze away from her for a split-second to ask them to move away.

"Come on, back up and give her some room."

He turned back to her, the worry in his eyes too difficult to hide.

"Listen to me, Kate. You're safe; you're on the beach with everyone else. Everything is OK now."

_OK now? OK now._

His words echoed back in her mind, denting the barrier she was holding up. She finally locked her eyes with his.

"No, no, no, no. You're not... You were... You're supposed to be..."

"What? What am I supposed to be?" He tried to make it sound soothing, but it came out all wrong.

"You were... You..." She stopped, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head violently.

Jack sighed and looked back up at the crowd, picking the first person he laid eyes on. "Hurley, get Sun, please."

"On it, dude." Hurley left in a flash.

Jack reached for her hand again, and this time she didn't pull away. He gently rubbed her palm with his thumb, not taking his eyes off her.

"Hey... It's OK, Kate. We're all here for you. Everyone is here, everything is fine, OK?" She stared at him with bloodshot eyes, the tears finally stopping.

Sun appeared behind them, looking back at Jack as he glanced at her and motioned her closer. She walked round and sat down, taking Kate's other hand gently.

"Sun is going to stay with you for a while Kate, OK?" He looked at Sun almost apologetically. "Is that alright?"

"Yes, yes. Of course it is."

Jack moved to get up, but Kate's fingers wrapped around his hand like a vice.

"Wait! Jack, don't... Don't leave."

"Kate, I'm not going anywhere. You see that tree?" He gestured to the nearest tree in the line, one with a small fire beside it. "I'll be right there. You need me, you just shout, alright?"

Kate nodded faintly and let go. Jack looked back at Sun, his voice low. "If anything happens, _anything_, come get me. Try and get her to talk, if you can, and then get her back to her tent to sleep, she's exhausted." Sun smiled briefly and nodded.

Jack got up and the crowd peeled away. He moved the short distance up the beach to the tree and slumped against it, the bark sticking unevenly into his back. Not that he noticed though. He slid down the rough surface and sat at the tree's base, idly stoking the fire next to him with a loose stick before running a hand over the back of his head, a gesture of frustration.

Sawyer slid out of the darkness when he saw Jack settle. He sauntered up slowly, and crouched down next to him.

"What the hell is goin' on, Doc?" He whispered fiercely.

Jack shot him a look from the corner of his eye, gritting his teeth and shaking his head. "I don't know. I just don't know."

"But this is the third time in as many days! You gotta have some idea."

"She won't talk to me, Sawyer; to anyone. All I know is she's having nightmares. Bad ones. She's tired, stressed out... Just like everyone else is. I guess it's just hitting her harder for some reason."

"You always this cold?" Sawyer clenched his jaw.

"What do you want me to say? If I knew what the hell was going on, then maybe, _maybe_ I could do something about it. But until she starts opening up I can't do anything." Jack paused, rubbing his forehead. "...And even if she does open up, I'm not exactly in a position to be of any more use than I already am. Which is negligible as it is. I'm a Doctor, Sawyer. I'm not a Psychiatrist."

Jack hit the sand with a fist he hadn't realised he'd made and sighed heavily. Sawyer tensed up momentarily as he did it.

"So what now, boss?"

"You wanna help? Just give her some space, OK?"

Jack shifted against the tree, turning away from Sawyer and locking his gaze on Sun, who was comforting Kate on the beach below. Sawyer pulled himself up slowly and turned to walk to his tent, cursing quietly under his breath.

* * *

"Kate, are you alright?"

Sun had slipped her arm round Kate's shoulders and was gently rocking her. She hadn't said a word since Jack had got up, and Sun didn't think Kate would break that silence for a good while. But she surprised her.

"I- I don't understand. Why is this happening to me, Sun? Every time I close my eyes I..." Kate stuttered quietly, trailing off.

Sun paused before asking, "Your nightmares?"

Kate nodded.

"Everyone has them, Kate. They're just dreams; your mind, playing tricks. They're not real."

"But this is different, it feels _real_. It's like… It's like I'm really there. I hear and see every detail, feel every texture and surface. I've never experienced anything like this before. It's like a vision, like I'm seeing the fut-" Kate cut herself off, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't even want to contemplate that thought. It was irrational, not to mention completely ridiculous, and yet…

"What is it that you see?" Sun pressed gently.

Kate shook her head, drawing up her knees and wrapping her arms round them in a defensive gesture.

"It doesn't matter. It's nothing."

"But you must see something? What is it that makes you so upset?"

Kate stared at the sand, the images in her mind so sharp they made her shudder. Ration dictated that this was all a product of her mind, a combination of exhaustion, hunger and the general fears this place seemed to generate in everyone. But still, there was something… something solid about all this, something so terrifyingly tangible that she felt if she vocalised it to anyone, it just might end up becoming a reality.

"Please, Sun. It's nothing! I can't… It doesn't matter, alright?!"

Sun reluctantly dropped the subject, realising that Kate just didn't want to talk about it with her, or with anyone else for that matter. Others had already tried, and had hit the same brick wall. Sun couldn't understand why Kate was so reticent to talk; knowing that revealing your fears and talking about them with others was a big step towards ridding yourself of them, or at the very least, allaying them.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. It's just people are worried about you Kate."

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine, honestly. I'll be fine in the morning." Kate sighed.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your tent? You should try and get some rest."

"I don't think I'll be sleeping somehow… But yeah, thanks."

Kate smiled for the first time that evening, even if it was only brief.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack watched as Sun got Kate up onto her feet and escorted her slowly across the beach. His gaze followed them until they disappeared from his field of vision. The mood of the beach camp had become subdued again; uncertain murmurs and hushed voices, and it made him uncomfortable. The last thing everyone needed was for even more apparent weirdness to descend on them, but it was happening yet again, and Jack felt powerless to stop it.

He was kicking himself inwardly, and had been since this all started. He'd never believed Claire when she'd told him about her nightmares, and look where that had ended up. Regardless of the fact that things had more-or-less righted themselves in the end, what mattered to Jack was that he'd failed her in the first instance, and he sure as hell wasn't going to fail Kate, or anyone else for that matter. If only she'd just _talk_ to him...

But then maybe his father was truly about him right after all. He just didn't have what it takes, and that thought cut him to the core. All these survivors, these _people_, still looked to him for leadership even after everything that had happened. 6 days in, Joanna drowned, and he never uttered a damn word to her. He'd so nearly lost Charlie, and Claire to Ethan. Steve, or was it Scott? He'd lost his life because if Ethan too. That had been inexcusable. He'd lost Boone completely, something he'd taken very hard indeed, and something he still hadn't entirely forgiven Locke for, even if it was a foolhardy, albeit selfish, mistake on Locke's part. Shannon had been an accident, but he still stupidly felt in some way responsible, and he'd felt so deeply for Sayid. Artz too, that had been jarring to say the least. He barely knew the guy; all he wanted to do was help, to feel a part of everything. And if he'd just had the gall to step up to Michael that first time, Ana-Lucia and Libby would still be alive. It was all mounting up on him, slowly burying him alive. He felt he couldn't handle the position of responsibility that had been thrust upon him, unwittingly, that very first day, because he just wasn't _supposed_ to be that kind of person.

And then there was Kate. A free spirit the likes of which he'd never encountered before. He'd been so encapsulated with life in Los Angeles, surrounded by spoiled, synthetic women and vain, adulterous men all his life he'd never even realised someone like Kate could actually exist in this world.

When he'd first laid eyes on her the day of the crash; smudged eyeliner, tailored shirt, and the faint trace of a floral perfume on her skin, he'd thought maybe she was just another one of those privileged girls. But then she'd touched him so gently, sewn him up with the very scantest of essentials, and with barely a flinch or complaint, he'd immediately come to understand just how different, how special she was. It didn't matter what she'd done in the past, and he so regretted pushing her after he'd eulogised so succinctly to her about fresh starts and new beginnings. He'd gotten angry and frustrated; possessive again, when he clearly had no right to be, and he'd so nearly wrecked his own supposed chance at 'starting over'. He was sure she still held that against him.

Jack leaned back against the tree and took a long swig from his water bottle, before settling again and resting his elbows on his knees. He closed his eyes to the night in defeat.

"Hey, Jack. _Jack_."

Jack opened one eye and looked up. Charlie was hovering nervously above him.

"What is it Charlie?"

"Is Kate alright? What's happening?"

Jack was loath to repeat himself yet again, but he did anyway. After all, isn't that what Doctors are good at?

"I don't know. I'm waiting for Sun to get back." He glanced in the general direction of Kate's tent. "Maybe she'll know more. Or maybe not…" he added quietly, more to himself than to the young man in front of him. Jack decided to change the subject quickly.

"How's Aaron?"

"Aaron? Oh, he's fine. Claire just put him back down. I think Kate woke him up, along with half the bloody Southern hemisphere…"

Jack gave him a stern, reprimanding look that made Charlie suddenly feel exceptionally guilty.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just, you know… With what happened to Claire and all, I, er, I think I'm just going to stop talking now before I regret it."

Jack didn't say anything. He just held the look a little longer.

"Right, well. Good. I'll... I'll just be on my way. Yes. OK then..."

Charlie slunk away into the dark like a scolded child and Jack finally let out a deep breath. He really wished people would stop asking him what was going on, especially since he was just about as clueless as they were.

Jack poked the dying embers of the small fire when he was aware of someone else approaching. He didn't look up, preparing to give whoever it was an earful if they asked the same question he'd heard a thousand times in the past few days, but wrenched his eyes up and dropped the stick when he realised that it was Sun sitting opposite him.

"Hey."

"Hello, Jack." Sun leaned forward slightly, frowning, and keeping her voice low.

"How is she? Did you make any progress?" Jack pulled himself forward a little, too.

"She's OK, but we're not much closer to the truth, I'm afraid."

"Did she say anything at all?"

"Only that she's definitely having nightmares. The way she put it though, it seemed like it's been the same one, and that it's very, very real. She said it was like it's really happening, that she is experiencing it, or rather... will experience it."

"_Will_ experience it?" he questioned.

"I can't really explain. She said it's like a vision, but that doesn't make any sense does it? But it doesn't matter, she won't tell me what she's seeing, only that it's upsetting her greatly. She doesn't even know why this is happening to her."

Jack slumped against the bark, finding little solace in its uneven surface. Sun was right; none of this really made any sense. It was just a recurring nightmare, wasn't it? Even so, from his limited experience, they were rare. People were known to have recurring dreams, yes; even he'd had a few in his time. But not usually day after day after day. But shocking, vivid nightmares? No. Not like this. Jack stroked his jaw preoccupiedly, wondering what the next approach should be until he realised he'd left Sun hanging. He drew himself back up to speak.

"Listen... thanks, Sun. Really. I'm sorry I dragged you into this. Jin must be wondering where you are."

"It's OK, Jack. I'm glad to be able to help. To try to, at least."

Sun got up and smiled, touching him on the shoulder reassuringly. Jack smiled back, thankful he wasn't trying to do this on his own.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, Sun."

He watched her walk up the beach before he too got to his feet, leaving the comforting warmth of the low fire for his own tent. As he walked, he was half-tempted to check up on Kate, her small tent lit up with a low, flickering light, but he had long ago learned that unwanted attention didn't go down too well with her, so he resisted. He knew she wouldn't sleep tonight, and the thought worried him. If she didn't get some uninterrupted rest soon, things would start to go very badly for her, and he didn't want that to happen. Apparently there was nothing he could do though, so he allowed himself one last glance at her shelter before moving off.

Reaching his own tent, he clambered inside, shedding himself of his jeans and shirt, and climbed unsteadily into bed, eventually falling into a restless torpor.


	4. Chapter 4

That familiar whirring, clicking, howling sound had vibrated through the sodden jungle; louder than the torrential rain, louder even than the thunder. Everything had been an incoherent blur after that. All Jack knew was that he _had_ to run. He'd shouted at Kate to, right before he took off himself. Now, a minute or so later, he didn't know where any of them were, even losing track of which direction he was going in, and he was silently wishing that all of them, _especially_ her, had reached somewhere safe.

The rain was so heavy he could barely see more than a few feet in front of him, but he carried on regardless, stumbling half-blind through the tangle of undergrowth. Jack was suddenly all too aware he was utterly soaked to the skin, his shirt clinging to him claustrophobically and his jeans and boots so saturated with water they were noticeably slowing him down. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind, concentrating solely on escaping that damned _thing_.

The trees in front of Jack suddenly thinned out and he found himself in a small clearing that sloped upwards. He only had a few moments to register his surroundings before something caught his eye; something black and opaque, snaking its way through the jungle toward him. The downpour distorted the vision just long enough to distract his attention, making him think he'd been mistaken, and he let his concentration slip. He tore his eyes away as he felt himself lose his footing on the muddy ground.

He didn't see the exposed tree root sticking out of the ground as his foot caught it when he'd tried to regain his balance. The built-up momentum of his run had sent him tumbling over fast, down a muddy slope. However, what Jack did see was the errant piece of plane wreckage lying half-buried at the bottom of the slope, albeit seconds too late. A flash of lightning ripped across the sky, illuminating the warped and torn edges of the metal, sticking up out of the water and mud like short, jagged teeth. He didn't have time to react against it, as his body was already unconsciously bracing itself for impact.

Jack landed heavily on his back, shards of metal burning white hot through his flesh, slicing deep into his spine and puncturing a lung, skewering him from the ground up. He absentmindedly thought that he'd heard a couple of ribs breaking. The rain still poured from the sky in sheets, and it took a few moments for him to become fully aware of what had happened. The adrenaline from the run coursed through his veins, and was acting as an anaesthetic, but in his still lucid state, Jack knew that it would be all too quick to wear off.

He was aware that his blood was draining away slowly into the muddy water beneath him, and that breathing was now an almost impossible task, but he fought back the fear he could feel quickly creeping up on him. His legs didn't want to co-operate with him anymore, but his arms did, so he pushed down in the mud underneath him, his shaky fingers sinking into it, trying to lift himself up somehow.

Jack felt the metal inside him shift, cutting deeper through soft tissue and scraping against and bone, and with it came the first stab of very real pain like a massive electric shock, sweeping through him excruciatingly. He gasped and coughed painfully and gave up trying to move. He knew it was useless anyway. He could hear himself wheezing now; felt his chest frothing up with liquid that he knew really shouldn't be there. Jack suddenly felt like laughing; the bitter irony of his situation was not lost on him, although coherent reasoning was quickly slipping away. As it was he found he couldn't utter a word. All that came out was the strangled rattle of a dying man.

A jumble of random thoughts and images flashed through his head; what would the other's think if they saw him now, the once-proud Doctor reduced to a useless tangled mass of limbs and quickly diminishing blood, flesh and bone? He thought of his father, that disapproving look on his face he always got when Jack had screwed up; of the beach camp and the sea, lapping the shore with its rhythmical waves. And he saw Shannon, Boone, Libby and Ana-Lucia, all looking they way they had when they'd died; torn, broken and bloody. And then there was Kate, standing on the shoreline, the wind in her hair, smiling to herself. She turned to greet him but then in an instant she was gone and the beach was empty and he knew then he'd lost her forever because on one simple mistake. He'd put one foot wrong and it was all over. He suddenly hoped to any God that would listen that she didn't see him like this.

He was vaguely aware of shouting as the rain began to stall, but he could very well have been imagining it. His vision became blurred and then dim, his eyelids so very heavy, so he closed them as best he could, slumping his head back into the mud.

Then, someone whispered his name. Someone was clutching his hand with their smaller, more delicate one. He could vaguely feel his fingers being squeezed. A terrifying thought burned its way into his fading mind.

_Oh no... Please, don't let it be her._

But it was. Jack so desperately wanted to speak, to tell her to get the hell away from him, but all he could manage was a harrowing cough that wracked his whole body. Mustering his remaining strength, he opened his eyes to find her kneeling next to him in the mud, leaning over, her face a picture of pure fear that was growing by the second. He found himself squeezing back on her hand hard, but at the same time wishing she would just leave him be. This wasn't fair; it wasn't supposed to be, to _end_, like this. Suddenly all his worst fears and regrets focussed sharply into a single, burning point of light. At that moment, he could feel every ounce of his pain, and was instantly as petrified as she looked.

"Jack, it's… it's OK, we'll get you out of here," She looked up in desperation at something he couldn't see. "_I'll _get you out of here!"

And she was crying now, unstoppable tears pouring down her cheeks. He didn't want this; he didn't want his last vision of the woman he'd fallen in love with to be _this. _He shook his head gently, but even the effort of that was too much, and he coughed again violently. Jack tasted the blood in his mouth now, felt it on his lips. He struggled vainly for breath, but it wouldn't come. Something had broken inside him and he knew there was no turning back; no rescue, no hope.

Kate was saying something again, her mouth moving animatedly but he couldn't hear her, hear _anything_ anymore. His strength quickly failed him and his hand went limp in hers. The last thing he saw was her leaning over further, so close their lips almost touched. He felt her hand and her tears on his cheek. Everything went very dark then. One final thought flickered momentarily through his head before it too faded away into darkness.

_I love you Kate... I'm so sorry..._

He never heard her screaming.

* * *

Jack awoke with a start in a cold sweat, finding himself audibly gasping for breath until it dawned on him that he could actually breathe. He sat up with difficulty, his body aching all over. Glancing around in the darkness he realised he'd rolled off his makeshift bed and had been lying on the floor of his tent, his bare, sweat-slicked back and arms caked in sand. It felt like his heart was trying to make a break for it through his ribcage, so he inhaled as deep as he could several times, letting each breath out slowly, trying to calm himself down. 

"Jesus Christ..." He muttered, slouching and holding his head in his hands.

"Jack?"

The voice startled him into composure. It was Kate.

"…Uh, yeah?"

"Are you alright? Can I come in?"

Jack looked down at himself, suddenly noticing he was just in his boxers.

"Hang on a sec!"

He groped around in the dark of the tent for his jeans and pulled them on quickly before getting to his feet, opening the tarp to let her in. She looked worried.

"What happened, Jack? I didn't feel much like sleeping…" She forced a smile. "I was just walking around the camp. When I walked past here it sounded like you were in pain..."

"I'm fine, Kate, it was nothing, just a..." He paused, settling back down on the ground and reaching out to light one of Sayid's homemade oil lamps, almost chuckling. "Just a bad dream." He looked up, tilting his head, and smiled gently at her in the steadily growing light. "Shoelaces make great wicks."

Kate furrowed her brow, seemingly unconvinced by either statement. She perched on edge of the airplane seat.

"Bad dream, huh? You look a little shaken up." She looked at the ground briefly before looking up again, puzzled. "Why are you covered in sand?"

"I, uh, fell off the bed, apparently. Woke up on the floor."

Her expression changed slightly. The concern was still evident, but it was joined by faint amusement, and hint of relief. She was trying to hide both, but she was failing miserably. A flicker of a smile crossed her lips.

"Turn around." she ordered.

"Why?"

"Just turn around, Jack." He complied.

"What are you do- _Oh_." He felt her hands on his back and arms, brushing away the sand. He shivered ever so slightly at her touch. "Kate, you don't have to do that, you know."

"Were you planning on going for a late night swim to wash it off?"

"Well, no, but..."

"No buts, _Dr. Shephard_. It's not like you can reach it all, anyway."

Jack smirked to himself, knowing she couldn't see, but then faked a resigned sigh so she could hear it. He felt her hand linger over the thin white scar where she'd sewn him up all that time ago.

"So what did you dream about?" she said quietly, swallowing, her hands moving up to rub the sand out of his damp hair. He closed his eyes at the sensation.

"I can't remember now." He lied, eventually. Knowing what she'd been going through lately, he didn't want to make a big deal of his own nightmare, and he certainly didn't want to tell her how utterly, horrifically real it had been. He was beginning to understand why she never wanted to about hers.

"I find that hard to believe." she said to his now sand-free back.

"Honestly, Kate. I never remember my dreams when I wake up, even if they were worth remembering." He lied again, knowing full well he could remember every single dream he'd had that week; every single one of which had her in the starring role.

"I would've had you down as the type of person who remembers everything."

"Oh really?" He shifted back round to face her again. "And why do you say that?"

Kate shrugged and smiled knowingly. "Just because."

"That's not an answer, Kate."

"Well, when I get _my_ answer, maybe you'll get _yours_." Her wide eyes sparkled in the flickering glow of the lamp. Jack looked into them and got lost for a moment, before he realised he was staring. He blinked and averted his gaze, hoping there wasn't enough light in the tent for her to see him blush just a little. Unbeknownst to him, Kate was thinking the same thing about herself.

"I guess I better leave you in peace." She said a little abruptly, rising from her seat and brushing the remaining sand from her hands.

Jack got up too. "OK, yeah, yeah. You be careful out there. Try and get some sleep-"

"Jack," She turned at the entrance, looking at him incredulously. "Shut up."

Jack grinned. "Sorry."

"I'll see you in the morning," She was whispering now. "Try not to fall out of bed again, OK?"

And with that, she was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Jack had slept uneasily after Kate had left. If he was honest, he would've been glad of anyone's company after waking up from that terrible dream, but the fact that it was Kate who'd made a perfectly-timed appearance just made her equally sudden absence all the more hard to bear. He'd found himself wishing she'd stayed just a little bit longer.

Knowing what he'd experienced had just been a nightmare and that it was genuinely nothing to worry about, at the same time the realism of it unnerved him somewhat. He'd never had a dream like that before, and he'd be more than happy if he never did again. Still feeling the dull throb of pain through his body, which he was sure was the product of his unwitting sleep on the floor, he'd tried to settle as comfortably as the bed would allow, before drifting off again into a uneasy slumber.

Now, in the warm light of morning, Jack was striding up the beach, thinking how surreal and faintly ludicrous the previous night's events had been. He couldn't be quite sure if he hadn't imagined the whole thing. Yet there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he couldn't entirely shake off, no matter how hard he tried. So he gave up trying, concentrating instead on the day ahead of him. However, he did allow the feeling of Kate's small hands brushing him down to creep into the corner of his mind once or twice more, smiling secretly to himself each time.

"Jack, dude." Hurley greeted him by the water trough as he was filling up a few bottles.

"Hurley." He acknowledged.

"You look a little... Uh, rough, man."

"Bit of a restless night, you know?"

"Right, yeah. I get it. Hey listen. Sun's up in the garden, and she asked if someone could bring up some water to her. I'd do it, but since you're, you know, stocking up..."

"I'll do it, don't worry." Jack looked amused.

"Thanks. Here's some spare bottles. Later, dude."

Hurley handed Jack the bottles and sauntered off in the direction of Charlie and Claire, who seemed to be having yet another 'discussion' over Aaron. Jack sighed and filled the new bottles before putting them with the rest in his over-laden pack. He headed out up the beach, and along the well-trodden path to the garden.

* * *

"Well, well, well, if it ain't Ms. Florence Nightingale." Sawyer proclaimed loudly over the top of his latest book as he spotted Kate coming his way.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" She rolled her eyes at him playfully. He put the book down and got up from his seat.

"Your late-night, lamp-lit house call to the Doc? I saw ya, so don't you go denyin' it." Sawyer folded his arms and shifted his weight onto one leg, waiting for an explanation.

"Let me guess, you were… wishing it had been you instead, right? Well don't worry yourself, Sawyer, it was totally innocent." Kate waved her arm in the air before planting her hands firmly on her hips.

"Uh huh." He raised his eyebrows slightly.

"_Uh huh_." She mocked him. "I was just walking past and heard him cry out in pain… Thought I'd check it out." She shrugged lightly.

"Oh right, pain. _Sure_. Guess he was in need of a little _horizontal healin'_ then huh, Freckles?"

"Oh, you'd just love that wouldn't you?" She smiled wryly at him, taking note of the briefest flash of jealousy in his blue eyes.

He brushed off the comment and continued. "So then sweet cheeks, what's the _real _reason?"

Kate laughed. "I just told you! I heard him… I heard noises, so. Turns out he was just having a n-" the smile faded from her lips abruptly, before she rephrased her response, using the words Jack had used instead. "A bad dream." She shrugged again.

Sawyer managed to restrain himself from crow-barring in a comment about that after seeing the look that crossed her face. He'd tried to talk to her about it, but she'd shut him out, just like she had anyone else. Even Jack, it seemed. Sawyer actually took a peculiar kind of comfort in that thought.

"Hell, he was probably just dreamin' about me whuppin' his ass at ping-pong, or Poker, or somethin'."

Kate smirked. "Yeah, that was probably it, Sawyer, because we all know how good _you_ are at those…"

"You just wait, Freckles. I'll be the island champion in no time."

He allowed himself the smallest of smug grins before his expression turned a little more earnest. "Seriously though, you OK? You lookin' paler than a caged Polar Bear."

Kate nodded curtly. "I'm fine. I promised Sun I'd help her in the garden this morning. So I'll see you later."

Kate turned and began to walk away when Sawyer shouted back at her.

"Hey! What about my damned haircut? It's been a month!"

She smiled to herself and shook her head, but didn't turn round, instead raising her hand to him as she walked. "I said later! And it wasn't my lamp, you know!"

Kate walked brusquely through the beach camp with her head down, trying to ignore some of the looks she was getting, and moved off into the jungle. She thought she'd been doing a good job of putting a brave face on things, pretending that she was fine, but it looked like her carefully placed mask was slipping rapidly. The fatigue she was suffering from was becoming too evident now; she was so tired she couldn't hide it anymore, even from herself, but she just couldn't face seeing those terrible images played out again and again in her mind either.

She guessed she must have momentarily dozed off by accident on the beach last night, where they found her. Where he found her. Every time she'd woken in a state, he'd been there. He'd be the first one by her side. She was so grateful for that, but at the same time it somehow made things worse.

Each time, the nightmare got clearer, more vivid, to the point that sometime soon she felt like she wouldn't wake up again; that she would be forced to deal with this new, unimaginable reality. Having to watch Jack die painfully, watch him slip from her grasp, in front of her, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it… And then to have to deal with the aftermath of realising she'd never see him again, never get another chance to look into his intense brown eyes; never know what it would've been like to be wrapped a warm, passionate embrace with him, under the wide, starlit expanse of sky. To never know what it would've been like to touch him intimately, to breathe him in and he touched her, to feel his lips and his skin against hers; to feel him _inside_ her.

Kate shivered a little and shook her head sadly. Either way, none of that would ever be. It didn't matter, did it? One way or the other, she'd lose him, just like she'd lost everyone else she'd loved...

Kate was dragged out of her private contemplation by voices in the distance. She looked around and realised Sun's garden was just up ahead. She'd managed to walk there almost completely on autopilot. Listening carefully, Kate picked out Sun's voice, and another with it. Male, heart-warmingly familiar; talking furtively and intently. _Jack_. Kate moved stealthily to the edge of the garden clearing, hoping to catch what they were saying.

"I don't really want to elaborate, but it was pretty bad."

"Please, Jack. I would like to hear."

"Well… all right. We're in the jungle, running away from _it_; we're nowhere we've been on the island before. It's not familiar; I don't recognise it at all. There's a bad storm, and it's raining really hard. We all get separated in the panic. Something catches my eye and I get distracted. I trip in the mud, fall really hard down this slope and end up getting... impaled on a jagged piece of plane wreckage we haven't come across yet."

"Basically I die horribly, but not before Kate finds me and has to watch the whole thing. It was disturbing, Sun. _Really_ disturbing. But like I said, it's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything."

Kate stared at Jack through the cover of the foliage, confused, and absolutely livid. How dare he reveal it to Sun, and how _dare_ he embellish it so much like that! But… wait, no. No, no, no, this wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. In the state she was in right now, it took a few seconds for the penny to finally drop.

_She'd never told him_. She'd never said a word to anyone. Nobody knew, except her. So how did he know? How could he possibly know exactly what she'd been seeing? It was impossible. The next words she heard made all colour drain from her face.

"… and then I woke up on the floor, totally unnerved."

"Do you think it's anything like Kate's?"

"I don't know, Sun. But it was real, _so _real. I saw it and felt it all, can you imagine that? If Kate's been seeing anything along those lines, then I really don't blame her for not want to sleep, _or_ wanting to tell anyone."

Kate felt sick. This was all wrong, it was insane. How could two separate people have the exactly the same dream, each from their own perspective, within hours of each other? But, worse than that, he'd _said_ it. He'd told someone out loud. She was now unconditionally convinced that it was really going to happen and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. The choice had now been cruelly wrenched out of her hands.

Dizzy, nauseous, Kate stumbled forward, out of her hiding place. Tears were pricking her eyes now, desperation setting in fast. She couldn't see straight. Jack twisted his head when he heard rustling and saw her burst forth from the undergrowth before she faltered, swaying unsteadily on her feet. He leaped up and caught her as she fell against him, crying.

"Kate! What...? Hey, Kate!"

"Jack!" She sobbed, gripping the front of his shirt weakly. "You... You shouldn't..."

"Hey, it's OK, it's OK! What is it, Kate? What's wrong?" He held her tightly, bewildered, stroking her hair tenderly. She was so pale.

"You... shouldn't have, Jack!"

She gasped and went very limp. Kate had passed out cold in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Damnit!_"

"What are you going to do?" Sun's voice was thick with concern as she watched Jack lift Kate up in his arms, clutching her tightly.

"I'm taking her to the hatch." Jack's voice cracked. "She needs to be out of the heat, and she needs some fucking sleep!" Jack swore exasperatedly.

Sun blinked, wide-eyed, and taken aback slightly. He so rarely swore.

"Can you get her arm round my neck?"

Jack leaned down slightly as Sun pulled Kate's right arm over his head and round his neck.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Jack shook his head. "No, no. It's OK. Sayid and Locke are down there. You've done more than enough for me already."

Sun closed her eyes and bowed slightly, out of habit. Jack nodded briefly to her, gratefully, and took off through the thickets.

Jack was furious with himself. He shouldn't have let this go on as long as it had. It was unforgivable, and what's more unprofessional, of him. Kate's wishes and Kate's wellbeing were two very different things, and he should've worked so much harder on the latter, for her sake. He should've made her stay in his tent last night, made her sleep on his bed so he could keep an eye on her. He was used to going for long periods without sleep; it was part of his training, his job. But she wasn't, at least not for this long, as was now painfully apparent.

Kate whimpered quietly in his arms, her hand clinging vainly to his shirt collar, cheek pressed firmly against his chest. He looked down at her and felt a lump form in his throat. He pushed it away, telling himself harshly he wasn't going to cry. But she looked so drained, so vulnerable; her skin pallid and clammy, like ivory. Why was she doing this to herself? Why did she have to be so damned stubborn?

Reaching the airlock, Jack fumbled for the handle and burst into the Swan, up the corridor and into the living area. Sayid was sitting on the couch next to the armoury, studying some of Rousseau's maps and a large, outdated atlas. Locke was in the computer room, idly musing over his crossword book, tapping the end of a pencil against his forehead and glancing occasionally at the timer.

Sayid rose immediately when he spotted Jack tearing through to the bunk room, carrying a lifeless Kate, and followed close behind.

"Jack?"

Jack turned, stricken. "Sayid." he breathed. "In the bathroom. There's a bottle of diazepam. _Valium_. It's under the counter at the back. I need you to crush up four pills, as finely as you possibly can. Mix them with a large glass of water, and bring it here. Please."

"Of course." Sayid turned on his heels and rushed into the bathroom.

Wrenching the covers back off the bed, Jack lay Kate down gently and covered her up. She was mumbling something to herself, but he couldn't make out what she was saying.

Locke wandered into the room. "Everything OK, Jack?"

"It's fine, Locke. It's fine."

Locke looked puzzled briefly, before regaining composure. "Well, if you need me, you know where I am."

He walked away, but not before adding something, his back still turned. "Listen to her, Jack. Don't ignore what she's saying. I have a feeling you'll find it useful."

Jack took in his comment in half-heartedly while stroking the errant hairs from Kate's fevered forehead. She was muttering again, a jumble of seemingly unconnected words.

"Why... You shouldn't have said... Jack, no! Don't follow me. Don't do it, please! You... You're going to..."

She shifted uneasily beneath the thin blanket. He reached over and clasped her hand fast in his, not understanding what she was saying.

"Listen to me Kate, listen to my voice. I need you to snap out of this. I need you to come round. Please Kate, this is important."

Sayid appeared by Jack's side, a tall glass in his hand. "Here, I did my best."

Jack glimpsed the glass; it was clear. She'd never know.

"Thanks, Sayid. It's perfect." Jack answered him, appreciative, nodding vigorously; turning back to Kate, and settling the glass on the side table next to the bunk.

Sayid bowed slightly, moving back and settling in the doorway of the bedroom, leaning against the partition with his arms folded, watching the unfolding proceedings intently.

* * *

Kate's eyes snapped open and she jerked upright, looking around and realising she was tucked up in the bottom bunk of the hatch. She tried to get up but Jack was too quick. He grasped both her arms and pushed her back down.

"Oh no, no, no. _No_." He said firmly. "You're staying right there."

She struggled against him but he was far too strong for her. She stopped moving and he loosened his grip slightly. She looked at him, a little hurt.

"Jack, I'm not staying here."

"Yes you are."

"I have to go, you can't-"

"Kate, you're not going anywhere." he whispered hoarsely, adamant in his statement.

He let her go gently and she leaned into the wall, cold, unforgiving concrete on her back. Jack reached for a glass of water on the side table and offered it to her.

"You need this."

She pushed his hand away. "I'm not thirsty."

"_Drink it._"

Kate backed down when she raised her eyes to him. He was defiant, his gaze dark, almost angry, she thought, boring holes into her. She'd never seen him look at her like that before. It made her shudder. For the time being, she had no choice but to go along with him.

Reluctantly, she took hold of the glass. If truth be told, she was very thirsty indeed, so after the first unwilling swig, she drank the rest without question, putting the glass back down when she was done. She didn't notice how bitter it tasted.

"Good, that's good." Jack knew he had to keep her distracted while the pills did their thing, so he sat back in the chair and started talking slowly and deliberately, all the while keeping his eyes fixed on her.

"Kate, do you know what happens to people who deprive themselves of sleep?"

Kate bit her lip and shook her head slowly.

"Their judgment becomes impaired. They start getting shakes, headaches, feeling sick. Their skin turns very pale. Speech becomes slurred. They faint a lot, hallucinate. Eventually memory loss and psychosis set in..." Jack paused and leaning forward in the chair. It creaked under the weight of both himself and his next words. "They go _insane_, Kate. And if it's not treated quickly, the damage is _permanent_. Is that what you want?"

Kate shook her head again, but she knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to frighten her, to keep her down here. He was trying to force her to do what she didn't want to do.

"Do you really think I would just let that happen to you, huh?

"Jack, I-" She tried to move, but her limbs had become leaden. She tried to pull herself up into a sitting position, but didn't have the strength to. She slid reluctantly back down into the bed, her head resting uneasily on the pillow.

"Wh... what did you do?" Jack didn't say anything, but his eyes betrayed him. She saw them flicker over to the table and back to her in an instant. Kate glanced weakly at the glass.

"You didn't."

"I did," He sighed. "And I really don't think you're in any position to argue. Let's just say we're even now." His expression softened and he gave her a small, lopsided smile.

Kate felt the forced sleep slowly creeping up on her. He was right; there was no way she could argue with him now. Her eyelids were so heavy.

"Kate, look at me."

She turned her head slightly, any animosity she held against about this him gradually washed away because of the heartfelt look he gave her.

"I'm gonna be right here, Kate. I'm not going to go anywhere. I'll watch over you until you wake up, all right? Nothing is going to happen, _I promise_." He stressed.

She blinked at him, once, twice; too exhausted to acknowledge him verbally. Kate closed her eyes finally to the inevitable.

_I wish that were true, Jack..._


	7. Chapter 7

For a few moments, a calm but vaguely tense silence descended over the hatch. All that could be heard was the familiar hum of unknown source behind the walls, the faint sounds of the computer equipment and the occasional click of the countdown timer. Jack leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, as if trying to squeeze away his fears. It didn't work. Lazily, he pried his eyes open again, his gaze drawn back to the face of the fragile figure lying in the bunk in front of him.

Kate was sleeping soundly, her quiet breaths barely audible. Jack watched the steady rise and fall of her chest for a little while, before shifting his gaze again, back to her face. She looked peaceful for once. Jack couldn't recall her ever looking quite like that before if he was honest. He pulled the chair closer to her and reached out, stroking her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. So beautiful, yet so distant.

Sayid, who was still stood in the doorway, watched Jack curiously, not really wanting to interrupt him. He'd seen Jack care for his island patients many times before, but this was to be above and beyond the call of duty. Sayid was already well aware of what was happening between the two of them, but he wondered if they were actually conscious of it. To him, they both seemed oblivious.

"Do you think she'll sleep through?" Sayid asked finally, feeling the need to say something at least.

Jack was shaken out of his contemplation of Kate by Sayid's voice, and he turned to acknowledge him. "Well... We gave her enough to knock out two grown men and have them sleep like babies. She won't be waking up for quite some time."

"Are you planning to stay here until she wakes?"

"I made a promise to her. I'm not gonna break that." Jack shook his head slowly, so as to physically underline his statement.

"All right. I change shifts in half an hour with Hurley. I'll be here if you need me until then." Sayid was satisfied, nodding lightly to Jack before turning and walking out toward the lounge, back to his maps and legends.

The remaining half hour passed without incident, Jack's gaze never deviating from Kate's sleeping form. When Hurley arrived, Jack dismissed him, telling him that Locke and himself were enough. Hurley seemed rather pleased, mumbling something about a backgammon game with Sawyer. Jack had chuckled to himself after he left, knowing Sawyer had no chance of winning that at all.

His amusement noticeably faded when he shifted back to Kate, her pale, stilled face a reminder of exactly why he was sitting down here in the first place. _Snow White in her glass coffin_ he thought, lamely. Unreachable. Jack wished he could touch her emotionally, as well as physically, make her see how much he cared; how much he _loved_ her. He was taking this hard, being unable to fully heal her; to _fix_ her, because she never fully opened herself to him, she never let him in. In yet another bitter irony, Jack didn't realise she felt exactly the same way, and vice versa. Stubbornness prevailed throughout, something they unfortunately shared inflexibly.

Word had spread about Kate through the camp like wildfire. The resident telegraph, a.k.a. Charlie, had spotted Jack racing toward the hatch with an unresponsive Kate in his arms while he was searching for some fresh fruit for Claire.

Over the next few hours, Jack was consistently amazed by the steady stream of people who came to see her. Charlie, of course, with Claire and Aaron in tow, attached firmly to her hip, sucking on his thumb contentedly. She'd asked some awkward questions about Kate's nightmares, considering her own experiences. Jack feigned ignorance, more because he was just as clueless, rather than that he didn't want to answer for fear of making Claire relive her terror. Hurley came back, expressing his concern before heading out to raid the scant few Apollo bars left in the pantry; a small comfort. Locke and Sayid flickered in and out as they always did. Sun and Jin, Jin attempting to practice his burgeoning English with Jack, who listened and answered slowly and patiently. Sun mainly kept quiet though, more than aware of what was happening; more than anyone else in the camp aside from Jack himself. Like Sayid, she'd seen the signs, but chose to keep silent. It was up to them how they figured this out, she knew that. Bernard wandered down, claiming to be looking for Rose, but still managing to ask a few pertinent questions about Kate's wellbeing before scanning the bookshelf and taking away a few choice volumes for later.

Even some of the survivors who usually kept their heads down; Steve and Tracey, Jerome, Richard, that Frogurt guy, Neil was it? Jack found it ironic. Kate didn't even know how many people cared about her, and she probably wouldn't like it one bit. He would tell her though, when she woke.

Sawyer came last, as usual, creeping through the taut air of the hatch in the most reserved way Jack had ever seen him move. He couldn't hide the worry he carried in his eyes and it pulled harshly at Jack's heart. Kate and Sawyer had a strong, underlying bond between them; they were both outcasts, they both had lived a life that Jack could never penetrate, could never fully understand. Jack had always prided himself as being a man of experience, of knowledge, but they were well beyond his bounds on occasion. It made Jack realise how sheltered he'd been, despite everything that had happened to him over the years. His life seemed to pale into insignificance compared to the two of them, and he hated it; hated himself for it. He forced all the emotion down though, swallowing it as he always did; as he'd been _taught_ to, determined to keep his professional air even as Sawyer knelt before her, pulling her limp hand up into his.

"So what's the word, Doc?"

"She hasn't moved for 7 hours. I gave her something to help her sleep."

"You _drugged_ her?!" Sawyer turned to him, mistrust marring his rugged features.

Jack felt his hackles rise, so he took a deep breath and pushed his anger aside as he exhaled protractedly through his clenched jaw. "You honestly think she'd be sleeping here now, _willingly_? It was the only way, Sawyer. I for one will not let her risk her own life over this."

"What, you think she's makin' it up? You think she's cooking up the ol' amateur dramatics for attention?" Sawyer snorted agitatedly.

Jack let out a sardonic laugh. "What do you take me for? I _know_ she's not making it up, but like I said to you before, she won't say specifically what's wrong. I have to base my treatment on the information I get. Then I have to make a judgement call. This is what what I decided was best for her under the circumstances. Don't lecture me about it, OK?"

Sawyer rose, emitting a sigh that was closer to a growl, turning away from Jack and heading toward the door. He paused briefly, not bothering to face him. "You take care of her, y'hear?"

He walked away then, not allowing Jack to answer. He knew she was in the safest hands possible anyway. He didn't need the confirmation.

* * *

Jack must have dozed off for no longer than a couple of minutes, but it was more than enough time for the dreaded sequence of events to come flooding back to him, forcing him to relive each and every single moment with absolute, horrific clarity. Jack awoke with a grunt, his chest painfully tight, his brain still telling him he couldn't breathe, that he was dead. It took a few moments to become fully aware of his surroundings, his laboured breath ringing loudly in his ears. He rested his palm against his sweating forehead, staring at the floor, hoping Locke hadn't heard him; did that man ever leave this place?

It was somehow so much worse the second time around. Rationally, he could explain away a single occurrence of a vivid nightmare as nothing more than underlying fear. But twice? For him, it was unknown, and it scared him just a little bit. For one thing, nightmares happened at _night_, didn't they? This was late afternoon, and he'd only dropped off for the minutest amount of time.

Jack got up and headed for the sink, his back still on fire, fixing himself a glass of water with slightly shaky hands that he couldn't quite still yet, when he heard a voice behind him. It was Rose.

"Jack." She said brightly as she walked out of the laundry room.

"Hey, Rose."

"Didn't expect to see you down here again so soon. You look a little shook up."

Jack laughed nervously. "Yeah, I know. I'm fine, though; I have someone to look after." He tilted his head towards the bedroom. Rose looked over at the bottom bunk and then back at Jack, noticing how crestfallen he seemed.

"_Oh_. How is she? Poor thing, she sure has had it rough this last week."

"She's OK, she's OK."

Rose wasn't convinced, but she kept the thought to herself. "I'm sure she is, what with such a handsome Doctor lookin' after her and all."

Jack forced a smile, thinking on his feet to change the subject. "So, I guess you've become the resident laundromat then?

"Sure am, honey. Bernard wouldn't have it any other way. Which reminds me..."

Rose patted him on the shoulder knowingly before wandering off toward the big pile of clothes she'd been sorting. Jack watched her, his curiosity piqued, as she trundled back a few minutes later with a bundle of delicate fabric in her hand.

"These are Kate's. Washed but not ironed. You'd think they'd have one down here, wouldn't you?" Rose chortled. "No matter, I'm sure she won't mind. If I were her, I'd appreciate a shower and a change o' clothes."

Jack grinned broadly, accepting the pile of clothing. "Thank you, Rose." he uttered appreciatively.

"No need to thank me, Jack. Just doin' my job." She winked at him genially, turning back to resume her rightful position.

Settling back in his chair, Jack couldn't help but notice the scent of the clothes in his hands. Despite being washed, they still smelled of her. That faint but unmistakable smell of sea air and soft musk. He closed his eyes, breathing it in slowly with parted lips, letting it wash over his senses, tensing up his body. When he reluctantly opened them again, he found Kate staring right back at him.

"Hey."

"Kate! Hey." He stammered, caught off-guard, a soft blush transiently reddening his cheeks. He smiled tenderly at her.

"What have you got there?"

"Oh, these? They're... your clothes. Rose gave them to me. She washed them for you, thought you'd be grateful of a change." He breathed, finding himself slightly embarrassed.

Kate blinked the sleep groggily out of her eyes, grinning a little. "How long was I out?"

"About 8 or 9 hours. You went out like a light. I was expecting longer though, but then you weren't exactly a willing participant... I- I'm sorry about that."

She sat up slowly, smiling, accepting her clothes from him timidly with one hand, whilst pushing a loose curl round her ear with the other. "It's OK, don't worry. Thanks, Jack." She whispered, tilting her head to him.

"You don't know how many people were down here asking after you." His soft laugh was one of relief. "You hungry? The shower's free if you want it."

Kate stilled, thinking for a moment, looking him over, before she answered quietly. "I'll take the shower, then you can fix me up something to eat. And don't lie."

"I'm not! you had most of the camp down here!" he feigned hurt briefly before continuing. "But all right. Take your time, I'll be right here."

Kate swung her legs out of the bunk, standing up on them hesitantly, like a newborn lamb. Jack stood too, reaching out and steadying her with his arm. She clung to him briefly before letting go.

"I got it, I got it!"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I can take it from here, no worries."

He watched her move slowly away from him toward the bathroom, thankful she'd had an uninterrupted period of sleep. He hoped that this would set her on the road to recovery. Little did he know how wrong he was.


	8. Chapter 8

"She's _gone_!"

Kate had taken a shower quickly, changing into her new clothes but leaving the water running. She knew he'd be at the door to check on her at any moment even though he'd told her to take her time. She didn't have that time to take, so she'd slipped out of the bathroom and the hatch before he'd had a chance to work out something was awry.

"Jack, calm down." Locke suggested, a little too forcefully.

"_Don't_ tell me to calm down!" Jack offered back harshly.

Sayid interjected, shrugging his broad shoulders unconsciously.. "Jack, neither of us saw see her leave. She could be anywhere. She could be back at the beach."

Jack felt it in the pit of his stomach. "She's _not_ back at the beach."

"Then where?"

"I know where."

"_Jack!_"

"Jack, Where?!"

It was too late. He was already gone. They would have to decide whether or not to follow on their own.

* * *

With at least a half hour's head start, Kate stumbled forward haphazardly through the near-impenetrable, darkening jungle, not knowing where she was going. She was following her gut now, nothing more. She was desperate, doing the one thing she could think of that could stop all this. Armed with the foresight she had, she was going to find the object of Jack's demise and dig it up with her bare hands, if she had to.

She pulled herself up a steep bank, vaguely aware now that she might not be alone. Someone else was close; too close. Kate dragged herself over the edge, using the coarse, overhanging roots that hung loosely there, but found she was alone at the top. There were definitely eyes on her though; she was sure of it now. She could feel them on her already clammy skin.

"Hello?"

Silence hung thickly in the dense, humid atmosphere.

"I know someone's there. Come on out! Show yourself!"

There was a rustling to the left. An indistinct figure emerged seamlessly from the trees, a rifle held low in their hands.

"Rousseau..." Kate breathed out slowly.

Danielle approached cautiously, looking stern and tense, her eyes darting around in trademark fashion. She looked Kate up and down slowly, stopping a few feet in front of her.

"I wondered, when you'd come." She uttered in a low whisper.

Kate looked at her, confused. She didn't get a chance to question her though as Danielle continued directly.

"Are you dreaming?"

"What? I don't-"

"Is he dreaming too?"

Kate took a step back, stunned. "H-How do you-"

Danielle maintained her intense stare. "It happened to me, too. You have the same look on you face that I did, all those years ago."

Kate flashed her a quizzical look. "I don't understand."

"When I told you, that I'd killed my team? It wasn't just because of the sickness. It was because I knew that it was my _fate_ to. Just as it's your fate to watch the man you love die before your eyes."

"_NO!_" Kate said, firmly, obvious tears welling up. "That's not true, I can stop it. I _know_ I can."

Danielle shook her head in resignation. "We all dreamed. We all had the nightmares. There's no way you can stop what is meant to happen."

"I can, Rousseau. I can, and I will. _Nothing_ is going to stop me. I won't give up. I never will."

Kate shifted uneasily under the older woman's ardent gaze, and an eerie silence fell over the two of them before Danielle decided to break it.

"Then I wish you luck. And I give you this." She offered Kate her rifle. "It might not be of much use to you, but I believe you were meant to have it, were you not?"

Looking at the rifle, Kate was hit by a wave of unease. _Was_ she meant to have it? She remembered it so clearly from her nightmare, slung over her shoulder as she fled through the quagmire of jungle floor. But why, though? There was nothing to aim at, you can't shoot smoke. Kate hesitated a moment, before reluctantly accepting the gift; maybe accepting her fate as well.

Danielle turned immediately, heading back from whence she came.

"Rousseau, wait."

The Frenchwoman stopped and turned her head slightly. "I have nothing more to say."

"How did you know? What I saw, what Jack saw?"

"Because I have seen it also."

"What?!"

"It's not a strange as it may seem, when you look around and realise where you are."

Kate watched uncomfortably as Danielle slipped away in the diminishing light, before turning away, slinging the rifle over her left shoulder. Its weight was oddly comfortable, Kate noticed, but it served as a reminder that her imagination hadn't cooked up Rousseau's disquietingly enigmatic appearance. Kate sighed dejectedly.

Looking up into the sky and seeing dark clouds gathering, she knew it was time to move again. _Time_, she thought, bitterly. There was barely any of that left.

* * *

A rustle of leaves and breaking twigs; the unmistakable sounds of another human being racing through the jungle made Kate stop in her tracks. She listened intently to the noise approaching steadily behind her, and the weighty realisation of who it was settled uneasily on her shoulders. She should've known. She _did _know. At any other time, she would've been pleased to see him, her heart leaping up when she caught sight of that smile he gave to greet her with. But now...

"I told you not to follow me!" Kate spat almost venomously as she turned to face Jack, fully aware of what she'd uttered to him earlier, despite her semi-unconsciousness. She felt the large, heavy drops of rain on her skin, falling from the thick clouds above, soaking into their clothes, and they served only to make the tension between them that much worse. Jack raised his hands defensively and took a bold step forward.

"For God's sake Kate, what the hell is going on with you? You think I'd just let you run off into the jungle, in your state, and _not _follow?!"

Kate looked up into his darkening, passionate eyes, watching the steady rain run off his eyelashes. The image made her heart race, adrenaline pumping into her system, a reaction she just couldn't suppress. She realised she was cornered and she couldn't get out of this without giving him _something_, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do; the thing that would seal both their fates. Jack took another step forward, his much bigger frame dwarfing her. Kate took a deep breath.

"I... I overheard you. When you were in the garden, talking to Sun. Why did you lie to me, Jack?"

Jack stood still, her words taking a second or two to filter through his mind until they clicked into place. "What? The dream? I didn't tell you because I _knew_ you'd do this. I didn't want to upset you any more than you already were... _are_. It was just a dream, Kate. What does it matter?"

"Jack! You don't get it do you?!"

"Get what?!" They were both shouting now, over the rain roaring through the foliage, turning the ground around them to sludge.

Kate let an acerbic laugh escape her lips, realising her question had really been two-fold. But he was only getting one answer; now was not the time to tell him she was doing this because she loved him. "Your dream... It's my dream. _My nightmare_, Jack! We both saw the same thing from our own perspectives!"

Jack stood his ground, barely a foot away from her, unbelieving. "What?! That's... It's not possible, Kate."

"We had the same nightmare! Did I tell you that I'd get you out? Did I squeeze your hand? Did you squeeze back so hard you nearly broke my fingers? Did I lean over you crying while you coughed up blood? You didn't tell Sun any of that, did you? So how do I know? How _could_ I know?! Jack, it's _real_! It's all real and it's going to happen; you're going to die and I can't stop it now!"

Jack shrank back slightly, his head bowed, her words crystallising the images that were still so fresh in his mind. _Both_ their minds, it seemed. He suddenly felt at a loss. He glanced up at her, noting how her beautiful face was scarred with fear, eyes wide and pained. It hurt him so badly he wanted to scream.

"Kate-"

Kate couldn't hold back any longer. She lunged forward, launching herself at him unexpectedly, taking him completely by surprise. Shoving him roughly against a tree, she reached up before he could compose himself and wrenched his head down to meet hers. Finding his lips, parted from shock, she kissed him fiercely, crushing her body against his. Still stunned, but also still rational, Jack found himself kissing her back, quickly equalling her sudden fervour, his strong arms encircling her small waist, pulling her even closer to him. Rain ran obliviously down their faces as teeth, lips and tongues clashed violently. They both tasted blood and rainwater, but neither cared. Thunder rumbled ominously overhead and all too soon Kate tore herself away from him abruptly, leaving him breathless and dazed.

"What… What was that for?" he panted, trying to conceal his confusion, and disappointment at their sudden parting. He ran his tongue over the cut on his bottom lip, wondering if he'd ever get to understand this woman; the woman who inflamed his senses like no one else ever had before.

"In case neither of us come back." She murmured darkly, a note of abject defeat in her voice. Jack reached out for her again when he noticed she was shaking, but she drew back. He shook his head.

"That's not going to happen, Kate. I won't-"

"Jack! Kate!"

Jack was cut off mid-sentence as a clamour of voices rang out through the trees, shouting their names. They both spun round instinctively, facing the sounds. Panic quickly took hold of Kate; she knew only too well what was about to happen. It had already started.

Sayid and Locke came into their line of sight through the trees, closely followed by a weary looking Charlie and Sawyer. The four men approached swiftly, circling the two of them, making Kate feel increasingly claustrophobic.

Lightning carved through the sky above, followed by a deep rumble of thunder, and something else. Something much louder; something under their feet that shook the ground like an earthquake. All of them exchanged worried glances without saying a word.

A strangled howl echoed through the jungle.

"Oh, _bollocks_…" Charlie muttered.

The ground a way off beside them erupted in a mass of damp earth and thick, black smoke, followed by another terrifying cry and a plethora of bizarre mechanical noises. The menacing cloud rose up and formed a towering column, before splitting in two, then three, winding its way towards the survivors.

"I suggest we get out of here," Sayid shouted staunchly, already backing away. "_NOW!_"

Jack backed off as the others made a break for it. Kate stood still, rooted to the spot with absolute terror as the oily, tri-headed mass headed straight toward her, thin tendrils of smoke curling round branches it passed like terrible fingers. Jack took two steps forward, reaching out and grabbing her wrist in desperation, tugging her backward. She turned then, locking her eyes with his; shaken momentarily out of her stupor, only to find herself being plunged back into it when she heard his next words.

"Run, Kate. _RUN!_"


	9. Chapter 9

They both ran side by side for a precious few seconds before they were ruthlessly separated. Kate wasn't sure how it happened, but now she was running alone, and it ripped her apart. She'd wanted to follow him, to keep her eye on him, knowing the events that would unfold before her, but fate had seemingly decided it wasn't supposed to happen that way, despite her best effort to change it.

The rain was blinding, thunder and lightning rattling her body, hampering her every attempt to pick up his trail, and she found herself loathing this place now. This island; this _prison_. Trapped and outsmarted by a force beyond her grasp; her own inevitable and undeniable fate. There truly was no distance left to run.

But even so, against all the insurmountable obstacles, she didn't give up, clinging on to the delicate threads of hope she'd woven so surely around her very soul. She wasn't going to break, she wasn't going to falter. He was still out there, _alive_, and every single footfall she took only served to compound her resolve.

_Fuck you, fate._

Branches and knife-like leaves cut at her face and arms, but she couldn't have cared less. She was defiant, following the rarest of inclinations; female intuition. Screaming at herself inwardly to keep going, to keep pushing, she forced herself onward. She wouldn't stop until she'd seen his last breath with awakened eyes, and that wasn't going to happen while she still embraced this mortal coil. She knew it, deep down in her frenetic heart.

Movement ahead caught her blurred eyes; someone else, running almost as equally as fast as she. The trees and vegetation thinned out before her, giving her a marginally better view of the figure running up a slope, his frightened gaze fixed on the treeline to his left. She didn't stop running when she saw him trip and stumble forward.

This was her last chance to defeat her apparent predestination.

* * *

She didn't know how she'd managed to cover the distance between them so fast. All she knew was she had scarcely milliseconds to react. And she had done, with incredible speed. Her right hand shot out on instinct, clamping like a vice around his wavering left wrist as she dug her feet into the soft mud at the edge of the precipice, knees bent, bracing herself. He swung round dangerously, the force of his momentum, his sheer weight, jarring her arm and twisting her wrist painfully. Too painfully. A dull, sickening snap echoed in her ears and searing hot fire shot up her arm as she struggled to hold on, sliding forward several unwanted inches. Kate cried out in agony. 

Jack heard the noise too, and winced, knowing all too well what had happened to her. He swore at himself under his breath, attempting to balance his body with his right arm and ease off the pressure on her, but it was exceptionally difficult. He was leaning back at such an angle that his centre of gravity wanted him to take the plunge down instead of righting him. The only thing holding him back was Kate, kneeling in the mud, leaning back on her heels as far as she could, trying to keep her grip on him. He wanted to wrap his hand round her shattered wrist to get a better hold, but he knew if he did, she'd let him go. She'd have no choice in the matter; the sheer pain of it would force her to.

"Jack!!" She shrieked.

"Kate, hold on, just a little longer!"

"I'm not letting you go. _I'm never letting you go!_"

"I know, I know! It's OK. Don't think about the pain. Don't let it in. Just… Don't move. Just hold on to me."

Jack's mind raced. If he could just reach her other hand, he might be able to pull himself up just enough to regain his balance. But he couldn't reach her; there was no way he could.

The loose earth underneath his feet shifted, and he slipped back a little further, putting even more strain on her arm. She practically screamed, tears streaking her dirty, scratched face. He couldn't stand it.

He glanced round in utter desperation, angling back slightly, causing him unwittingly to look over his shoulder. Jack caught a glimpse of the mass of twisted, jagged metal taunting him, urging him backwards; _willing_ him to fall. He knew if she let go, he was dead, but if she continued to hold and he continued to slip, his weight would wrench her arm clean out if its socket and she'd let him go anyway. Either way, their nightmare was about to become horrifyingly true.

Jack closed his eyes to it, pushing the thought away, vainly trying to clear his mind. When he opened them again he found himself gazing back at Kate, his heart torn by the look on her tear stained face. And then he saw it. Framed in his vision by a bright burst of light from above. A slim chance. The faintest of hopes. He swallowed hard.

"Kate, listen to me." He tried not to sound desperate.

Kate bit down on her lip, squeezing her eyes shut briefly, trying to rub out the rain and the tears and the utter torture. The pain in her wrist was becoming an unbearable distress.

"_KATE!_" Now he _did_ sound desperate. "The rifle!"

Her eyes snapped open to stare at him, not quite comprehending his statement. She watched him glance to her shoulder and then back again.

"Unsling it, hold it out to me. If I can reach it you'll be able to pull me up!"

"Jack, if I move... You're too far back! I can't!"

"_Yes you can_. It'll be fine, just do it real slow." He pleaded raggedly, faking a calmness he didn't feel one bit. This was their only chance.

Kate sobbed. She didn't want to move. Every second she could feel herself slipping forward millimetre by millimetre. If she made any sudden movement now...

"Kate. You can do this."

Kate took a deep breath and held it, nodding faintly, not daring to taking her eyes off him. Jack watched her painstakingly slow movements as she hooked her thumb under the strap of the rifle, silently grateful she'd slung it over her left shoulder instead of her right. Gently, she slid it over her arm and laid it purposefully on the ground next to her. She'd forgotten how heavy it was.

"OK," Jack breathed hoarsely. He could feel his feet portending a slip again, understanding now he only had one shot at this. "Hold it out to me. I'm gonna have to swing for it. You just need to hold on a few seconds more..."

She could barely hear him, her blood pounding savagely in her ears blocking out nearly all other sound. But she saw the compassion, received the trust he held in her in his eyes, and continued with her task. Clasping the butt of the rifle firmly, she held it up with immense difficulty. It was _so_ heavy now, but she just couldn't afford failure, not when they were this close to succeeding. It took every ounce of the strength she had left to keep it outstretched.

Jack twisted back ever so slightly, his right arm held out behind him. _One chance_. This was going to hurt her even more, but he had to. For the both of them. He looked her straight in the eyes assuredly, _lovingly_, pouring his soul into those impassioned orbs.

"You ready?"

Kate nodded once, choking back a sob, bracing herself one last time.

He drew back, then swung his arm forward, using the momentum to propel him forward. Kate's scream rose up into the jungle canopy, the extra strain on her already battered arm threatening to make her faint clean away as his fingers connected with the smooth barrel of the rifle, curling themselves round it tightly, instinctively. They both froze for a moment, time grinding to a halt around them.

Exhaling the breath he'd held for what seemed like hours, Jack focussed solely on his grip now, gradually easing his strong fingers up the cold metal, inching himself forward and urging her to do the same. Kate watched him open-mouthed. She could barely breathe, not wanting to disturb the delicate equilibrium between the two of them that could now be upset by the tiniest of wrong moves, but found herself responding to his request nevertheless; fingers creeping up the butt of the gun on their own accord, helping close the void that bridged them, both physical and emotional.

"That's it. A little more, a little more..." His voice was black and urgent.

Kate's fingers were skimming past the trigger when he unexpectedly heaved his body forward, pulling against her ever-waning grasp, balance and control finally and fiercely regained.

A loud, out-of-place crack reverberated in the damp, foetid air as they fell against each other in a heap, gasping for breath. They lay there tangled in the mud for long moments, clinging to each other, waiting for the realisation that they were both safe to kick in; that all this insanity was finally and irrefutably _over_. Any pain she discerned now was no match for the ocean of total and utter relief that washed over Kate when she slipped her good arm around Jack's back, cradling his head against her chest. She held him to her firmly, feeling his frantic heartbeat and hot breath against her neck. His lips grazed softly against the drenched skin he found there and she laughed warmly through her irrepressible tears. Squeezing him as tightly as she could manage under the circumstances, half-expecting him to squeeze back, she was surprised and alarmed when he suddenly flinched considerably, grunting loudly as he did so, and pulled away hard.

Kate looked at him, shocked. He gazed back at her, confusion and apology tainting his uncommonly pale features.

"Jack? What's the matter?!" Her trembling voice was laced with a new-found apprehension.

He didn't answer, he just lowered his eyes to her arm, the one that had been around him just seconds before. There was blood all over it.

"Jack?"

"Kate, I..."

Bewilderment spread over them both.

Kate followed his gaze, looking down with growing horror. She held out her palm flat, raking her eyes up and down her arm, all her previous happiness driven viciously away in one decisive stroke. Jack rolled onto his back with a low groan, pain radiating swiftly through his body, and she could see it now; the dark, fast spreading stain seeping through his shirt, just under his right arm. Even the oppressive rain couldn't dilute it.

She'd shot him.


	10. Chapter 10

It was almost amusing to him somehow. Unmindfully, he'd always been curious about how it felt to be shot. He'd seen it enough times in his career; faceless patients passing him by with various gaping wounds in their ragged flesh, and sometimes barely any indication of a lesion at all. They were always the worst, he'd found. He'd always tried to detatch himself from it as he should, but at the same time his inquisitive nature, the very instinct he tried so clinically to repress; that he'd been _told _to repress, had occasionally shone through.

And now here he was, smothered by an unforgiving deluge of rainfall, feeling the dull, burning agony consuming him, his absentminded wish had become stark reality. He couldn't help but laugh sourly to himself.

_Hilarious_.

Kate snapped out of her stricken daze when she heard him and scrambled the scant distance over the soft, clawing ground to where he now lay, clutching his hand tightly, her broken arm hanging limply at her side. This wasn't real, was it? Somewhere down the line she'd fallen asleep again, and this was just a new twist to the nightmare; punishment for her trying to interfere with the way things were supposed to play out. She'd wake up back in the bunk at any moment now, finding Jack sitting beside her, forcing her to look into his smiling brown eyes and knowing there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop this.

But she didn't wake up. This was it, this was all there was now; _this was reality_. The cruellest of all ironies was that _she_ was going to be the one responsible for his death.

"Kate..."

"Oh God, Jack, what have I done?! I'm sorry, I'm _so_ sorry!" Her voice was shrill in his ears and he urgently needed her to calm down.

"It wasn't your fault, Kate. It's OK, It's gonna be fine, you understand? Everything is gonna be OK."

"It _IS_ my fault, it's all my fault!"

"Listen to me Kate, look at me. I'm here, I'm right here-" He tried to suppress a groan, clenching his jaw tightly to it, making him pause, but didn't quite manage it. She heard him and fresh panic fluttered across her eyes. Determinedly, he continued, unable to imagine what she must be going through right now. "I need you to check this out for me, all right? As quickly as you can. I need to know how bad the wound is."

"Just tell me what to do, Jack. _Anything_!" She leaned over him, squeezing his hand tighter in a depressing reenactment of their shared vision. There was blood everywhere, mixing with the rain, running away from them steadily down the slope in rivulets.

Jack had surmised that the damage the bullet had caused was most likely to flesh alone, although he couldn't be completely sure without seeing it; something that would prove almost impossible without her help. His most immediate danger was the threat of going into hypovolaemic shock due to loss of blood. He couldn't risk losing his concentration now, but he was already beginning to feel lightheaded.

"Kate," He exhaled. "You need to... Try and get my shirt up, help me roll on my side. Tell me what you see, if the bullet went right through or not. Then you need to try and stem the bleeding. It's really important, Kate. OK?"

Kate bowed her head in understanding. This was going to be difficult with just one hand, but it wasn't like she had any choice in the matter. Besides, the idea of not complying was simply out of the question. She unlaced her fingers from his and fumbled for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his stomach. It stuck to him stubbornly, soaked in blood and muddy water. He shifted with a grunt, rolling over slightly, giving her better access.

She wrenched his shirt up, bunching it under his arm despite trying to be as compassionate as she could, seeing for the first time the damage the bullet had caused; that _she_ has caused. She tried to tell herself that it looked worse than it was, but failed, tears rolling hot down her cheeks.

"Oh, Jack..."

"Tell me exactly what you see, Kate. _Exactly_." His voice was hushed.

"There... There's two wounds."

A clean shot, straight through. he digested. It was both good and bad.

"Are they bleeding rapidly? Is there a lot of blood?" He felt sick now, stomach cramping up painfully.

There was a lot of blood, oozing consistently from torn skin, but she understood what he meant. It wasn't spouting like injuries did in ridiculous horror movies. The bullet hadn't hit a major blood vessel. She explained to him in a shaky tone, and heard him exhale in relief.

"OK... OK. That's good, Kate. It's real good. You have to apply pressure, stop the bleeding-"

"But there's two holes! I can't cover both! _Which one_, Jack, which one?!"

He drew breath uncomfortably then, remembering her predicament, and spoke through gritted teeth. "Whichever is bleeding more. The exit wound, all right?" It would be larger, he knew. She complied straight away, using his already saturated shirt to press into the wound in his back. He tensed hard.

"Stay with me, Jack. Don't leave me!"

"I'm not going to! Just... Press down hard, as hard as you possibly can. Keep talking to me, Kate. You have nothing to worry about. We'll fix this."

He felt cold, his toes and fingers had become numb. His mind drifting slowly away as each minute passed. He didn't let on though, he knew how she'd react if he did.

The rain slowly began to ease.

* * *

"Guys! They're over here. _Over here_!" 

Charlie's voice wormed its way into Kate's consciousness, but she didn't move, she just kept pressing gravely down as best she could with a single hand, coagulated blood staining her skin.

Heavy footsteps approached; muttered gasps of confusion and question cleaving the solidified space around them. Still, she didn't move, she couldn't take her eyes off Jack's ashen face. The rain had all but stopped now.

Sayid drew forward, quickly surveying the scene, taking in an unconscious, bleeding Jack, and Kate's discoloured right arm; black, blue and ineffective. Then there was the rifle, abandoned beside them in the muddy earth. Wasn't that one of Rousseau's, he thought uncertainly. It wasn't looking good.

"Kate," he urged to her unresponsive form. "_Kate_, what happened? Tell me." He was at their side in seconds.

Kate broke down then, looking up at Sayid finally with bloodshot eyes, practically wailing, punctuating her words with broken sobs; tears she didn't think she had left in her to cry. "He... He was going to fall. I held on... _so_ hard. We used the rifle to... To pull him back up. I didn't know, it just went off in my hand! It's all my fault, I shot him… _I shot him_! I... I didn't mean..." She shook, unable to hold back her distress.

"What happened here was an accident." He tried to console her with his words, his gentle hand reaching out to her shoulder whilst piecing together exactly what had occurred. But it soon became apparent that she was inconsolable at this point. Sayid changed tactic, feeling for Jack's pulse at his wrist, then at his neck. It was there; rapid but weak, still undeniably present all the same. He'd lost a lot of blood, but he was still fiercely clinging to life, and that had to mean something.

"When did he pass out?"

Kate's face crumpled, eyes clamped shut and brow furrowed deeply. "A few minutes ago, I think... He... He was telling me about how he'd got beaten up at school..." Her voice trailed off.

"He's still very much alive," Sayid announced hurriedly to the group. "But we need to stop this bleeding and get him out of here, immediately; back to the hatch. Locke, you and Sawyer take him, myself and Charlie will take Kate. Find something clean to cover the wound. There's no time to lose."

Kate recoiled at the thought of being separated from Jack now, but she was too weak to fight it. Despite everything, all she cared about now was saving his life, and if this was the way to go about it, then so be it. She flinched as Charlie helped her up off the filthy ground. Locke produced a clean shirt from his pack that he and Sawyer tore hurriedly into strips and bound Jack with before unceremoniously yanking him up.

They moved through the labyrinth of oppressive jungle, far too slowly for Kate's liking. Jack hung limply in the arms of Locke and Sawyer and all she wanted to do was go to him, hold him tightly in her arms. Sayid had felt her pull on him and held her back, his arm firmly around her waist, and Charlie's round her shoulder. When they reached the hatch door Jack was so pale his skin seemed translucent; both Locke and Sawyer wet with blood, rain and sweat.

They dragged him to the bunk, where she'd slept under his watchful eye just hours before, while Sayid broke out the medical supplies Jack kept in the bathroom. Combined but limited knowledge worked on him; clean water, peroxide, needle and thread, bandages, unpronounceable antibiotics passed between the four men in a vain hope that they could save the one man on the island who could save them all in turn. Irony once again playing its unpalatable part.

Kate was mute, her wrist now bound in an amateur splint. She wanted to be a part of the proceedings; she wanted so desperately to _help _him, but she couldn't move, such was her shame at causing this unforgivable tragedy.

Closing her eyes, she blocked out everything other than the face she'd come to love so much, smiling at her positively and expressively as he always did, deep brown eyes shining in the sunlight. She knew now, deep down, that he had loved her too. She clung to that thought as his image dissipated in her exhausted mind.


	11. Chapter 11

"Kate."

_Jack? Is that you?_

"Hey, Kate."

_No._

"Freckles, wake up!"

Sawyer was kneeling beside to her, hand on her arm, shaking her. She'd fallen asleep slumped uncomfortably in the chair next to Jack; bandaged hand resting on her lap, the other still curled gently around his. She flickered open her eyelids, and let her eyes come to focus on the scene before her. Jack laid peacefully, his chest rhythmically rising and falling in shallow breath. The wounds under his right arm were now cleaned, sewn and bound tightly with fresh bandages that stretched right round his chest and back; not quite as neatly as Jack would do it himself, she thought. He would've found it amusing.

_Will find it, will, _she corrected herself mentally, disgusted at the fact she'd even contemplated referring to him in the past tense. Nearly two days had passed since the others had dragged them out of the wilderness, and Jack hadn't moved, hadn't uttered a sound. Neither had she in all truth, watching over him in silent vigil for close to 40 hours before she'd finally given in to her body's insistent demands for rest. No matter how hard she fought it though, she was slowly succumbing to the idea that he might never wake up again, and it cut her to the core.

"Huh? Sawyer? What... What's going on?

"Well it's about time! I was thinking I was gonna hav'ta set fire to that damn chair to get you up."

"What is it, is there any change? Sawyer, did he say something-"

"Nah, He's just about the same as when we put him down. Just thought I'd wake ya up in case somethin' _does_ happen."

Kate's face fell instantly. Sawyer saw it and attempted to console her, putting his arm round her shoulders and letting her lean into him.

"C'mon now. Never took Jack for bein' someone who gave up easy, y'know? Just a case of watchin' and waitin' now…"

"I know, I know..." She trailed, forcing herself not to cry yet again, but unable to stop a single tear falling over her cheek.

"Hang in there, kiddo." He muttered, his heart breaking just a little. "It'll all work out in the end."

Sawyer got up slowly as she silently pulled away. "I'll be down the hall savin' the world if you need me, 'kay? You jus' holler."

Kate nodded subtly, not watching him traipse sadly away. She heard his long sigh though; he didn't even attempt to disguise it.

She waited awhile, until Sawyer was definitely out of earshot, before leadenly rising from the chair and leaning over Jack's pale body, clasping both his limp hands in her one as best she could. She spoke, her voice low and shaky, stumbling over her words.

"Jack... I wish you could hear me. I don't know, maybe you can, somehow. I guess I can only hope... There was so much that I wanted to tell you, so much we needed to say to each other, but I felt I never got the chance. I never took the moments I was given, chances I didn't even realise _were_ chances, and I... I'll regret that for the rest of my life. If you… you die… I… can't, I _don't_ want to live without you, Jack. I never meant for this to happen. I thought I could put things back the way they were. I thought I could change it! And now look… look what happened. What I did to you… I'm _so sorry_!!"

She slumped back into the chair again and bowed her head to the floor, face in hand. There was only overwrought silence, interspersed only by her muted sobs.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

A soft and unexpected voice made her jump. She looked Jack over, thinking that her shredded brain had made it up, but through her absentminded tears she saw him listlessly open his eyes, and look back at her, a weak but reassuring smile playing on his dry, cracked lips.

"... Jack?" She questioned, shaking her head, half-believing she was still imagining this.

"_Hey_." His hushed tone resonated in her ears. He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it lightly. _It was real_.

"JACK!!"

Kate wept openly now, indescribable relief crashing over her like the tide, her fears crushed into a tiny ball so easily swallowed and digested. She leaped up, heart racing wildly. She wanted so badly to hold him, but she feared hurting him, so instead she leaned over like she had so many times before in the past couple of days and she kissed him; modest and fairly restrained in execution, but full of relish all the same. Drawing back, she saw that familiar spirit pouring back into his tired eyes, and he smiled fully with some effort.

"Nice to see you too." He chuckled.

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer exclaimed loudly from the doorway as he entered the room after hearing Kate shout. "Had us worried for a sec there, Doc'. Well, not _me_, but you know. Freckles here's been beside herself."

Kate laughed, the sound lilting pleasantly in Jack's ears. He spoke quietly then, so only she could hear, his voice cracking a little in the exertion.

"I promised I wouldn't leave you. I don't break my promises."

* * *

Jack's recovery was incredible, even to himself. Although most put it down to his self-proclaimed nurse, both Locke and Rose knew differently. His eventual return to the beach one sunny afternoon a day after he woke was met with raucous shouting and applause, something he found ridiculously embarrassing, but met it courteously nonetheless. Kate barely left his side, practically glued to him; fetching him water and food when needed. He insisted he didn't need the fuss, but she couldn't help herself; aside from the fact she somehow felt she owed it to him, she just enjoyed the time they were spending together. 

It was a balmy, moonlit evening when they all gathered round a large fire on the beach. Food was prepared from the sea front kitchen and handed round. Locke had caught a boar for the first time in weeks and it was all going down very well with the more carnivorous of the survivors; helped along with some valuable DHARMA condiments. Games were played, amusing anecdotes from past lives exchanged; some admittedly more amusing than others. Charlie even managed to get some singing going; answering requests as best he could, strumming his guitar with enthusiasm and pretending not to notice a particular Southerner's ear-splittingly off-key attempts.

Jack and Kate sat side by side near the back of the gathering, more content to listen than take part, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere with each other. Hurley was now recounting a time when a meteorite hit the fast food place he used to work at, although omitting to mention he, in fact, actually owned it. Jack could vaguely recall him mentioning it to him before, but as it was, the ribbing Hurley was getting meant most people didn't believe a word if it at all.

After a while, Kate noticed Jack had become restless all of a sudden. He leaned over during a pause in proceedings and quietly whispered in her ear.

"Hey, let's get out of here."

Kate cast him a curious glance. "Why?"

"I wanna check your wrist."

"It can wait can't it? I'm comfy here, with you."

She stopped her half-hearted protest when she caught a strangely mischievous glint in his firelit eyes.

"Jack, what are yo-"

"Shh. Come on. No one will notice." He grinned, taking her hand and pulling her up from the sand with him. They snuck away, in the direction of Jack's tent, but not before their absence was registered by both Sun and Sayid, who sat near each other in the circle. They glanced at each other, smiling knowingly, before settling back into the entertainment before them.

The pair reached his shelter moments later, and Jack lifted up the tarp and ushered her inside.

"Sit." He ordered, pointing to the bed before turning and lighting a couple of lamps.

Kate complied, still slightly puzzled.

"I _do_ want to check your wrist, you know." He was rummaging around in his supplies now, producing what he needed to change her roughshod splint. "Payment for you saving my life. It's only fair, right?"

"Oh... OK." She offered back, hanging her head slightly, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"What did you think I had in mind, Kate?"

"Well... nothing reall-"

She was cut off, his lips suddenly on hers, kissing her so gently and tenderly it made her spine tingle. She closed her eyes, letting the pleasure of it sweep through her, her cheeks flushing hot with excitement.

When he pulled back, her eyes were still closed, lips moist and parted, and she only heard Jack's rapidly deepening voice then, his warm breath caressing her ear.

"_Wrist first_."

Seconds later he was done, admiring his work for a few fleeting moments before turning again and extinguishing the lights.


	12. Chapter 12

_I guess I should put a warning here: Mild, suggested (who am I kidding?) sexuality to follow! Like you didn't expect it.  
_

* * *

Silver moonlight streaked seamlessly through narrow breaks in the shelter. Soft but defining luminescence splayed knowingly, like ethereal fingers, across two flushed bodies moving drowsily in tandem, as though it were guiding them, embracing them, _protecting_ them. The thin airline blanket all but abandoned, lying crumpled on the sandy floor of the tent amongst various items of discarded clothing; roughly removed from their respective owners in a frenzy when the flames of desire became too excessive to quench with words alone. 

Now lips tenderly caressed devotional lips, skin glided against heated skin; hips grinding together slowly, purposefully, compulsively. Strong hands and gentle fingers searched and pressed desperately into warm, wet flesh. Angles and curves fitted together like the world's most beautifully intricate jigsaw.

Wanton moans and jagged gasps of need and encouragement permeated the still night air around them; a culmination of months of restraint, of denial, finally and explosively released. Nothing could keep them apart anymore, this was their _true_ fate.

"_Jack_..." She whispered breathlessly into to his open mouth as he drove fiercely into her, _completing _her. Delicate fingers ran through his short hair, over the back of his neck, raked down his spine, catching on the tight bandage before continuing their path; grasping him and urging him deeper. Capturing his mouth again, tongues entwined, she realised how wonderful he tasted; sweet and spicy like warm apple brandy. And she breathed him in; wood smoke, sea salt and fresh, clean sweat. The faintest hint of peroxide still clung to his moist skin. It made her head spin ferociously.

_Don't you dare let go._

His right hand reached down and clutched the flesh of her buttock, unrelenting; kneading it almost wildly before it moved up, slowly pushing the underside of her thigh forward so her left knee was bent up against his shoulder, hooking his arm under it, holding it to him fast. It was almost too much for her. Never in all her wildest fantasies had it been this powerful, this impassioned. His attention to her was so engaged, so sharply construed that it made her feel immediately unworthy, unable to touch him fully with one hand out of commission, tightly bound and still aching. But he had sensed her anxiety, and disclosed to her in a heavy groan that she was all he'd ever wanted, more than anything else on this island; this Earth.

_I love you, Kate._

Everything got so much more urgent then. Movements strong and bold; meeting each other furiously halfway, impetuous in wanting release. She'd cried out his name against the taut skin of his neck, feeling his sprinting heartbeat against her lips, the luscious and welcomed tensing of her pelvis. She couldn't control it when she rolled her hips firmly up against his; flesh against flesh, bone against bone, straining shamelessly against his hardness. He felt her tighten like a vise around him, finding himself unable to hold back; muttering her name scandalously in her ear, louder and louder until they both fell hopelessly together, over the edge of the precipice, their concurrent screams dissipating blatant into the atmosphere, uncaring if others heard.

_I love you too, Jack. I always have._

* * *

Kate awoke to a cacophony of early morning beach camp sounds. Aaron was crying; Sawyer was negotiating heatedly with Jin over a fish, as best he could. Hurley and Charlie were avidly discussing the outcome of some fictitious superhero fight. Vincent barked loudly. There was laughter and happiness and contented peace. 

Her eyes flickered open, her sleepy mind briefly confused by her surroundings. Warm sunlight filtered through the fluttering tarp of the shelter where moonlight had once been; clothes and blanket haphazardly abandoned on the ground. This wasn't her tent.

Only when she became aware of the comforting warmth of another body pressed surely against her back, a strong arm thrown listlessly around her waist and tender, steady breath against her neck, through her tangled curls, did she realise she hadn't just been enraptured in the best dream she'd ever had.

She shifted slightly, angling more comfortably against him, when she heard his voice in her ear.

"Good morning, young lady." He murmured, tightening his arm around her. She wanted to turn and face him, but his grip was too steadfast. She chose instead to whisper back, smiling broadly to herself.

"Good morning Dr. Shephard."

She heard his breathy laugh at her words, felt him smile against her skin.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?" She uttered in a slight daze, needing the confirmation, inhaling the beach air and taking in with it the stimulating scent of him, so close to her now.

"Not this time." He growled in her ear.

She practically giggled, wriggling out of his grasp and finally turning to him, albeit awkwardly. "So you're assuming I've dreamed about you before, right?

His eyes burned into her, deep chestnut and sparkling green meeting in a fiery dance. "Come on Kate, of _course_ you have. So have I."

His lips met hers again, tongue prying open her mouth with no resistance whatsoever. Kate found it almost obscene that he could get away with it so easily, but at the same time there were absolutely no regrets in her mind. After all, this was what she'd risked her life for; _both_ their lives, in fact.

They pulled away, winded, and Jack deftly rolled her over and on top of him.

"How's the wrist?" He enquired, his fingers idly stroking the new splint he'd bound her arm up in the previous evening.

"It aches, but I'll live. Apparently, I have a very good Doctor." She smirked. "How's the..." Kate gestured at the swathe of bandage strapped across his chest.

"What, _this_? It's just a scratch." A sly smile spread across his face.

Kate couldn't help but laugh. It was nice to see that his dry sense of humour had returned, along with the healthy colour of his skin. She felt his hands slide down her sides, settling on the top of her hips, pulling at her gently, encouraging her to move against him.

"Hey, no. _NO_! Come on, get up. We have to go."

He sighed gloomily. "Are you _sure_ you want to do this? We really don't have to." Despite being half-feigned, the resignation in his voice was evident. He'd rather stay where he was with her all day, but deep down he knew. She needed this, as did he, in reality.

"Jack, we _have_ to. I need to know it's finally over."

* * *

Their trek through the morass of deep forest was more or less silent. No words really needed to be said at this point, so they both kept quiet. Still, they stayed close; very close, reaching for each other, wanting firm reassurance every now and then. They didn't need a map; their hearts unconsciously knew the way. 

Jack broke the silence when they paused side by side for water at a small, swift-running stream, Kate gathering water greedily in one cupped palm while Jack filled a couple of bottles, crouching next to her a little stiffly.

"You never told me, by the way."

Kate gazed at him, a little flummoxed. "Told you what, exactly?"

He tilted his head toward her with a grin. "Why you thought I was the kind of guy who remembered everything?"

The memory of her brushing him down in his tent flooded her thoughts then, a tender smile curling her mouth. It seemed so long ago now, so much had happened since, but she answered all the same. He deserved her response now; a response that hadn't changed since it had first entered her head.

"Because..." She paused for effect, her smile widening a touch. "You're perfect, Jack."

He laughed genuinely, gratifying colour creeping across his face.

"I'm _not _perfect, Kate." He shook his head subtly, grinning.

"Yes you are." she whispered, leaning over and grazing his lips with hers, moistened from the cool water. "You are to me."

The day slowly grew hotter, more humid, sunlight dappling the ground around them as they continued. The scenery seemed so different from when they had been tearing through it in utter panic. It was almost beautiful now; deep green, serenely calm and still. A stark contrast from what had previously been.

It wasn't long before they reached their destination. Apprehension hung thick in the air, despite the now-sublime surroundings. The trees thinned before them, revealing the purpose of their trip.

They walked slowly together up the slope, still scarred from struggle, but dry now; the scene of so much anguish and terror and indescribable pain. Kate paused for a moment, emotion threatening to overcome her, but Jack took her hand assuredly and pulled her forward.

"Come on. A couple more steps."

They finally reached the top, an arduous mental task to say the least, tension weighing heavily on their shoulders. They peered over, holding each other tightly, and a sudden, growing astonishment swept its way through the pair as they stared over the edge with widening eyes.

It wasn't there.

There was no wreckage. No jagged, twisted, vicious metal leering back at them, protruding profanely from the ground, glinting in the afternoon sunlight as it should have been; there was no trace of anything unusual at all.

_It wasn't there_.

And then, they understood.

_It never had been_.

* * *

_Fin!_

_  
So there it is! I finished it, sadly. I hope anyone who's been reading enjoyed it, I'm quite proud I managed to keep it up to be honest (absolutely no pun intended). If you watch a lot of LOST, I'm sure you'll understand the ending. It's full of mystery, right? Hehe :P_

* * *


End file.
